stephen wright Quotes & Sayings

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stephen wright

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

- Stephen Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

- Stephen Wright

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

- Stephen Wright

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