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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

- George Carlin

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

- Robin Williams

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.

- Albert Einstein

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

- Earl Wilson

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

- Harry S Truman

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

- Oscar Wilde

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